For those who have lost children...

I know that some of you that read my blog have also lost children so thought I would post about this today… I find that when you are going through an adoption you often feel like others around you do not fully understand. I feel that the same happens when you lose a child…

When we lost our baby, our lives we knew would never be the same…. We grieved, we mourned, we healed, we continued on with our lives but we never forget...

We know it all happened in order to bring us to Ethiopia to where our precious daughters were waiting, we are sure of that….. We now know that we had taken a wrong turn and were going down the wrong path...

As we are getting ready to bring Marika and Karelle home and to have them in our lives, I catch myself sometimes thinking about our story and it breaks my heart to even think that if it would have happened any other way that they would have never made it home... We would not change what happened for the world...

However when we lost our baby, there are lots of things that were said and done that I wished would have been different. I found a link the other day and I thought it was really interesting as this mother's story reminded me of ours in certain ways.

Like when the DR went on to say that we were young and that we would have another baby (which could be true) but definetly not something you want to hear when you have lost your child and are leaving the hospital without your baby that you had grown to love. We wanted and loved that baby. Or like when everyone around you doesn't talk about any of it or act like they have forgotten and probably think that you should also forget... You don't...

You seem to remember that the last time you wore a specific shirt is when you were pregnant or losing your child. You seem to notice that people don't really know what to say when they are around you. You also seem to notice children that would be about the same age as your child and dream of what the child you lost would look like today.

If someone would ask me how it felt to have lost a child, I would tell them that it is like reading the BEST book in the world/or movie or season finale of your favorite tv show, getting to the really great part when you can't put it down or that your eyes are glued to the tv and NEVER knowing what happened next or how it ended.

However we do know that our baby is in heaven looking down on all of us and keeping the girls safe in Ethiopia until we are able to bring them home, we are sure of that !

I am always very thankful that Pierre was by my side through it all. He was the only one that understood exactly what I felt and we will always share this special bond between the two of us ! Just like this adoption journey, we were shown that we were stronger than we thought, however whenever I think about all of it, I cannot imagine having gone through all that without Pierre. He was there for me 100% of the time, to listen, to cry, to just be with and I was able to see a side of my husband that I now really enjoy and that I may not have gotten to see if we would have not had this bond that was created then.

This woman also list the truths of losing a child in different ways...she also writes that friends and family may also benefit from reading this over so they might understand the special kinds of pain and emotions involved in this type of loss and allow them to be expressed.

I thought it was very well written and all soo true.

Here is the link for the article if anyone is interested.

http://www.ivf.com/misc.html